Men and gummi worms

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Most women are just too high maintenance I guess.

Men are just happier people--

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5,000, Tux rental $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone converstaions are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thougtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in pulic. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes--one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

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Yesterday Kyle and I were enjoying a bag of gummi worms and we realized that when it comes to eating gummi worms, we will never be the same.

You see, it all goes back to when we were living in Rexburg. We had just switched apartments and our new next door neighbors had this really cute little boy. We talked to him, and were nice to him but were still not getting the results (aka- getting him to fall in love with us) as fast as we wanted. So we switched our efforts to the second best thing- Bribery.
For the first little bit his parents probably wanted to kill us. Good thing we got to be such good friends! But, everytime we heard them leaving we would open our door- which they had to walk right past- and offer Jamison a gummi worm. It worked like a charm.

As the weather got warmer we would always leave our doors open, and coincidentally so would the Scott's. So, every now and then Jamison would be able to leave his house unnoticed and would walk into our house. Oh- and before I go any further I probably need to mention that he we were friends with his parents and we saw then everyday so it wasn't like we were strangers feeding this unsuspecting little boy candy. It was so funny. We would eat some gummi worms with him and talk to him and then his parents would come find him.

Then, as it got even warmer we would all go and sit outside by the basketball court. There were a whole bunch of us and usually Jamison's friend Tanner would also be out there. So, every once and a while they would be gone and we would find them in our apartment eating the gummi worms because now they both knew where we kept them.

Anyway, that was kindof long, but from now on every time we eat gummi worms that is what we think of. Oh and the moral of all of this is that bribery really does work.